Why Write Nonbinary Characters?

This is my why: a story of spite writing and ultimate understanding

Jul 08, 2026

Picture it: Albuquerque, 2018. Maroon 5 and Cardi B are singing “Girls Like You”, the silver screen is saturated by remakes or sequels/prequels, and TV gets dominated by drama and dystopia.

It was also only one year after the academic discussion around nonbinary identities truly began: Non-binary/Genderqueer Identities

My spouse was getting more comfortable using gender-neutral pronouns, so I sat my parents down to have The Talk. It went exactly the way I expected.

Dad(the science guy): “It’s not biologically possible.”

This was an easy fix. I sent him some articles about gender diversity in nature, like these:

Embracing Diversity: Gender, Sex, and Nature

Nature is queer—and we should embrace that!

Once he saw that there was actual science behind it, he was on board. Mom, on the other hand, turned it into a whole thing (as usual).

Mom(the language arts afficionado): “It’s not grammatically correct.”

Me: takes a deep breath, rolls up my sleeves, and dives in head-first

Singular 'They'

Pronouns: A Surprising History

Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, she was not swayed by my extensive research the way Dad was. So I did the only thing I could think of: write a nonbinary character study out of spite. But the joke was on me, because I loved writing it so much that it expanded into a short story and then a rough draft of my first published novel, all in a matter of weeks. Spite turned out to be the best motivation I could have asked for!

I did self-publish my little character study, and… Plot Twist^TM: my mom read the book and she LOVED IT, gender-neutral pronouns and all. This is proof positive that stories have the power to connect us to experiences we never could have understood otherwise. One fictional story about a gender nonconforming student at a boarding school did what countless articles failed to do: create a personal connection and build a bridge toward empathy. Books can literally change the world!!

The truth is, I want there to be as much nonbinary representation in media as possible, for my spouse, friends, loved ones, and everyone else who doesn’t fit into the gender binary. If I can’t find it, best believe I’m going to write it!

And if someone in your life is a writer, try not to piss them off ;-)

Some of my favorite novels featuring nonbinary characters: